"No law or set of laws can keep our children completely safe. But if there's even one thing we can do, if there's just one life we can save, we've got an obligation to try," Obama said.
What a load of crap.
No one is suggesting that we ban abortion or cars, are they? And more children die from those things than guns every year.
I'm so sick of " wouldn't you do ANYTHING to save a child?" Well, hell's bells, NO! The ends does not justify the means.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Parenting
I haven't ranted for awhile (well, not on HERE, anyway), but I felt the urge today. I've actually felt the urge several times in the last week whenever I heard the ad for "Total Transformation" on the radio.
I've heard these ads for years, but usually I just ignore them. My kids are pretty good, pretty well-behaved, and we've gotten to the age where we can really explain why we set rules, and, more importantly, where WE got those rules. God sets rules for our safety and enjoyment. We need to stay under His umbrella of protection or we are inviting all sorts of trouble.
That's why I get ticked off at these ads. They act like they're promoting some new thing for HUNDREDS of dollars. It sounds to me as if they are recommending the following actions: Set a rule, explain the consequences for breaking it, follow through with the punishment, and don't take it personally.
Well, DUH!! I googled this "amazing" program and found one review that was talking about how their kids were pretty good, but they had no "moral compass."
Again - DUH!! You can't just raise your kids to "behave" and then assume a moral compass will naturally form. If you don't raise your children to know the Creator of the universe, the Savior of mankind, why on EARTH would they put other people first?
Here's my real frustration. You cannot have a moral compass or act in the "proper way" or use "common sense" if you have no basis in God. It's not possible. Here's why. God set the rules way back in the beginning and then clarified them 2000 years ago. There are no rules apart from God.
Do not murder.
Do not steal.
Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
Obey your father and mother.
Do not commit adultery.
These are rules that people want their kids to follow....they're GOD'S RULES!! NOT MAN'S!! Every single thing that makes someone worth being around is from God. And that includes me, by the way.
So my suggestions for parenting? I have SEVERAL. Go figure.
First, you need to recognize your need for a Savior. If you don't know Christ personally, your parenting will not be all it could be. Then introduce your child to Christ. Those two things are the most important things you will ever do.
Raise your children to be a joy to you and a joy to others.
Next, raise adults. The seeds you're planting now WILL BE what grows into adulthood.
Understand that you aren't perfect. However, that does NOT stop you from being your child's parent. A child needs a parent, not a friend. They will be angry with you when you stop them from throwing food. Too bad. See point number one.
Set rules. Decide how far you'll let them FIRST, before they try to go that far. Remember that your goal is to gradually decrease the amount of control in their lives as they grow into adulthood. When they're little, each infraction must be dealt with. Every single one. Even if you're sleepy. Even if you're sick. Even if you just don't want to. The exception? If you haven't bothered to discipline your kids and they're four or five? Pick ONE and work on that....then another, and another.
You must show grace. They must be corrected, then reminded they are loved, then just LET GO of that bad behavior. Don't hold it over their heads.
Don't take anything personally. They're kids. They do not know better. No they don't. No, they don't. If you get mad, you have given them power. You stay calm, even if it's pretend.
YOUR job is to set up the guardrails. Kids want structure. No, kids NEED structure. They need to know, as much as possible, what the framework is. It makes them feel better.
Give them work to do. REAL work. My children have had chores since they were 18 months old. When they start asking to help, LET THEM. If they don't do it "right", too bad. Teach them properly and they will get it, I promise. As the kids get older, make sure you're preparing them to move out. If they argue about their chores, ask them who will do their chores when they move out. I highly recommend Kym Wright's book, Living Life on Purpose. She has a list of tasks that every child should be able to accomplish by the time they move out. You can make your own list, of course, but she brings up things that I hadn't thought of - how to choose the proper cleaner for the mess, changing a tire, planning a meal, etc.
That's about all I have. My kids are 6 - 14. They're not perfect. They know Christ, they know I make mistakes, they know they're loved.
I've heard these ads for years, but usually I just ignore them. My kids are pretty good, pretty well-behaved, and we've gotten to the age where we can really explain why we set rules, and, more importantly, where WE got those rules. God sets rules for our safety and enjoyment. We need to stay under His umbrella of protection or we are inviting all sorts of trouble.
That's why I get ticked off at these ads. They act like they're promoting some new thing for HUNDREDS of dollars. It sounds to me as if they are recommending the following actions: Set a rule, explain the consequences for breaking it, follow through with the punishment, and don't take it personally.
Well, DUH!! I googled this "amazing" program and found one review that was talking about how their kids were pretty good, but they had no "moral compass."
Again - DUH!! You can't just raise your kids to "behave" and then assume a moral compass will naturally form. If you don't raise your children to know the Creator of the universe, the Savior of mankind, why on EARTH would they put other people first?
Here's my real frustration. You cannot have a moral compass or act in the "proper way" or use "common sense" if you have no basis in God. It's not possible. Here's why. God set the rules way back in the beginning and then clarified them 2000 years ago. There are no rules apart from God.
Do not murder.
Do not steal.
Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
Obey your father and mother.
Do not commit adultery.
These are rules that people want their kids to follow....they're GOD'S RULES!! NOT MAN'S!! Every single thing that makes someone worth being around is from God. And that includes me, by the way.
So my suggestions for parenting? I have SEVERAL. Go figure.
First, you need to recognize your need for a Savior. If you don't know Christ personally, your parenting will not be all it could be. Then introduce your child to Christ. Those two things are the most important things you will ever do.
Raise your children to be a joy to you and a joy to others.
Next, raise adults. The seeds you're planting now WILL BE what grows into adulthood.
Understand that you aren't perfect. However, that does NOT stop you from being your child's parent. A child needs a parent, not a friend. They will be angry with you when you stop them from throwing food. Too bad. See point number one.
Set rules. Decide how far you'll let them FIRST, before they try to go that far. Remember that your goal is to gradually decrease the amount of control in their lives as they grow into adulthood. When they're little, each infraction must be dealt with. Every single one. Even if you're sleepy. Even if you're sick. Even if you just don't want to. The exception? If you haven't bothered to discipline your kids and they're four or five? Pick ONE and work on that....then another, and another.
You must show grace. They must be corrected, then reminded they are loved, then just LET GO of that bad behavior. Don't hold it over their heads.
Don't take anything personally. They're kids. They do not know better. No they don't. No, they don't. If you get mad, you have given them power. You stay calm, even if it's pretend.
YOUR job is to set up the guardrails. Kids want structure. No, kids NEED structure. They need to know, as much as possible, what the framework is. It makes them feel better.
Give them work to do. REAL work. My children have had chores since they were 18 months old. When they start asking to help, LET THEM. If they don't do it "right", too bad. Teach them properly and they will get it, I promise. As the kids get older, make sure you're preparing them to move out. If they argue about their chores, ask them who will do their chores when they move out. I highly recommend Kym Wright's book, Living Life on Purpose. She has a list of tasks that every child should be able to accomplish by the time they move out. You can make your own list, of course, but she brings up things that I hadn't thought of - how to choose the proper cleaner for the mess, changing a tire, planning a meal, etc.
That's about all I have. My kids are 6 - 14. They're not perfect. They know Christ, they know I make mistakes, they know they're loved.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)